super eseu :)

“Lost time is never found again.”(Benjamin Franklin)
“Lost yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with 6 diamonds. No reward is offered, for they’re gone forever.” (Thomas Mann)

Sometimes a friend, many times a foe, time has been measuring each heartbeat of our way regardless of our own conception of it. Every second that passes our mind and body leaves a mark that time was there. However, it is through the way we let it pass, that time shapes our beings. For seconds can be counted, but never caught. As Nichita Stanescu said “if only every second wouldn’t always belong to the past,” I believe that lost time is never found again, for none can re-live what has already happened, yet memories keep it alive.
On one hand, there is the time caught in Newtonian formulas… the time put in equations, the time measured by hourglasses, horologes, and circles in the hearts of the trees. This kind of time is a one way road, never coming back, just passing and altering things with its touch. It is irreversible and rapidly flowing like a whirling stream, reminding us of the fleetingness of life. “Real time”, as I would call it, is the pen we use to write our history, while taking a step forward in getting closer to eternity, to an unknown future.
On the other hand, memories stand for a time of emotions, dreams and great expectations, a time of wonders that does not need stiff reference points like past, present or future. The “emotional time,” therefore, is a quiet sea, hosting the essence of our being in memories, desires, hopes and fabulous quests. For instance, our memory is like an old attic where precious stuff lay next to the toys of the childhood and dusty family portraits. There’s no chronology in there. The emotional time is a “Where” not a “When”, a magic place of self finding, rebuilding, rearranging…where past mingles with present and future; for it is through the lens of the past that we look to our future.
How, then, can this be possible? How can somebody go back or travel forward in this static time of emotions that seems to bend as it pleases and defy the rules of the universe? It might be because of the relative way we see ourselves in keeping with reality. We do not conceive reality in absolute terms, but translate it in conventions that allow us to build it as a subjective map. We live, feel, think according to this map, acting and reacting to the symbols we used for the translation. Changing the symbols is changing the parameters of the map, and consequently, changing what we call reality. We are the ones who decide what stays on the map. Therefore lost time lies somewhere on that map. It is true that one can never reach it, as to let it pass through again, but it will always be there as a guide to what it is called future. In a way, the emotional time is our most intimate and cherished work of art, because it mirrors the essence of our lives. The emotional time is what we create, what justifies us as beings, what ennobles us, as the Pascal’s reed, in a universe that annihilates the ephemerides.
On the whole, time, in its complexity, reveals who we are, or better said why we are in a certain way. Seconds that fly our beings leave marks on the maps of our soul. It is true they will never return, nor will they ever be found, but the marks behind will guide us through the time ahead. To sum up, there is, indeed, a time that measures our wasting… but there’s another that dignifies our passing through life.

ps: thank you sis' :)

file de poveste....

Din toamna grea ce se-asterne in fiintele noastre
Nu mai razbate ecoul nici unei culori...
Nu mai rasuna viata!
Oh, Lemalian, amarul acopera scena cerului,
si actul continua, desi nu a inceput nicicand..
e zvon de moarte, de iubire invinsa intr-un razboi crud
sunt trandafiri ce-si varsa petalele
frumusetea
si se imbraca in spini...
Nu crede, sa nu crezi vorbe, nici soapte... nici sunete ce te-mpresoara in vant
Doar ochii .... ochii ce inca graiesc albastru,
Da! Lacul in care nuferii cresc...
Inima... nu, nu mai crede inimi...
musteste rautatea si ninge in noi ...
iar flacara se stinge, nu mai incalzeste..
frigul te dezbraca de foc...te inchide ... te ucide..
nu te opri din alergat si nu-ti intoarce privirea..
e piatra in jur....da..numai piatra
nu mai sunt lacrimi, nu suspine, nu privire
nu adevar, nu tristete, nu bucurie
nu dragoste, nu zbor, nu , nu , nu...
Lemalian, azi lumea se masoara in NU ...
tu alearga .... alearga ... caci Ochii inca mai respira
si Ochii de oceane inca sunt deschisi!

cu frig in suflet,
Dey

file de poveste...

Lem, daca.... daca timpul ar avea glas sa strige secundele ce-mi trec fiinta fara tine, pamantul intreg ar fi un tipat de jale. Daca-ai intelege soapta culorii din toamna grea ai sti dorul inimii mele. Sunt vremuri obosite de drumuri lungi, si-asa ne impovareaza pasii...se-asterne usor melancolia, nostalgia... Durerea de nefiinta din noi rasuceste parca acul si lumea se intoarce in trecut. regretul a ce-ar fi fost ne impresoare inimile si bucuria sperantei e usor furata de un suspin. Lem, suspinele ce le port in suflet sunt doar gandurile ca nu .... ca nu. Atat. Restul sunt doar rune ce nu-si gasesc timpul potrivit sa se-asterne in istorie. Lem, unde esti?
Dey

ganduri...

tristete pentru ochii
ce varsa durere
e glasul noptii ascuns in inimi,
lumina revarsata in lacrimile de priviri...
trupul firii tale e demult doar o pana in bataia inimii
si-atunci plansu-ti e doar cuvinte.
mi-e frica de un abis prea adanc,
si totusi atat de fraged...
de ceea ce esti in necunoscutul din umbra...
Intunericul de Dionis
nu cunoaste, nu graieste, nu razbate pana la noi
Tu simti cu fiecare clipa,
ce noi nu vedem a fi. Suntem
si atat;
suntem pana in zidul ochilor,
si ramanem loviti, indiferenti si reci...
golul fiintei e prea greu, prea uitat
ca sa mai zboare...
si daca tu ai fi,
daca tu ai lasa sa fii...
Privesc in cerul din tine
in golul din noi...
(eu)raman la a fi ...
...dar oare (tu) ma simti?
.
Dey, "Eu s(unt), tu s(imti)"

once

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Memories....

Amintirile sunt poate cea mai labila resursa a sufletului nostru, alaturi de imaginatia indreptata spre viitor. Amintirile sunt cele care ne pot determina sa regretam un trecut ce nu a existat niciodata. Timpul ce s-a scurs prin vietile noastre nu are o forma fixa: variaza conform perceptiilor noastre asupra lui. Ceva ce schimba lumea pentru mine, nu e decat inca o zi pentru altcineva. Diferentele dintre noi , dincolo de afinitati si preferinte, ci abordand o perspectiva adanca a sufletului uman, vorbind de acele dedesupturi pe care abia noi invatam sa le descoperim si mai apoi sa ni le insusim se manifesta si in perceptia trecutului. Nu ne vom aminti acelasi moment la fel, mereu amintirea va fi invadata, influentata de ceea ce simtim in prezent. Timpul a acelasi, faptul ca noi il divizam in trecut, prezent si viitor e un aspect irelevant. Scindarea a ceva ce e un tot prin concept in sine, e singur si pentru toti. Ca noi vorbim de zile, ore sau secunde......... Azi e acel maine de ieri........ Materializarea a ceva ce nu isi gaseste corespondent in rutina noastra e doar o incercare banala de a diminua forta mareata, de a oferi un oarecare confort omului ce trebuie sa-si castige destinul in fiecare clipa luptand cu timpul. Cum poti limita trecutul de prezent si viitor........... si aici il citez pe Nichita Stanesc... "daca fiecare secunda n-ar fi mereu a trecutului". Mereu mi-a placut sa meditez la urmatorul aspect: oare timpul exista acolo si noi trecem prin el ... sau ne plimbam alaturi, ori suntem noi si timpul se scurge asemeni unui rau lasand in urma albii sadite si purtand pietre si aluviuni de vise si sperante?????
Oare noi in raport cu timpul ce suntem? Cine suntem? Ce e de fapt timpul, care ne numara parca secundele inimii si ne macina gandurile cu amintiri din trecut, din viitor............

file de poveste...

Sunet ce aluneci odata cu lumina,
Gand ce numai suflete de apa iti cunosc menirea..
.Vom culege fire line de matase,
da, impreuna
una
nu doi
mi-e dor de noi ce n-am fost nicioadata...
de vremuri pe care nu le-am trait
de morminte
de aduceri-aminte
de ceruri
lumea si timpul...
tacerea ramane
cand soaptele de viata
se rasfrang in stele
inchise
in ape de cristal..
Dey..